Save me Jack Bauer!

I love this show.

No, really, I LOVE this show.

How does Jack always manage to save the day?

Are you about to be shot by a terrorist? Jack will save you.
Being chased by a criminal on the streets? Don’t worry, Jack’s got that covered. He’s just about to swing by and pick you up in his SUV in about 3 seconds.
Are you being tortured by people who have an exceedingly large bag of torture devices?
No problemo! Jack will save you and bite the neck of your torturer to allow you to escape and run free.

I imagine how much I could use Jack Bauer in my life as a Mom. This guy is useful in so many ways… let me give you a couple of ideas…

Kitchen Fires:
Me: “Jack, help! My skillet caught fire on the stove!”
Jack flies into the kitchen, and puts out the fire with a fire extinguisher and his rippling arm muscles.

Unwanted solicitors at the door:
Me: “Jack help! I don’t want to buy meat from this guy… please just get rid of him!”
Jack grabs meat man by the collar and sternly warns him that if he e-v-e-r frequents my doorstep again, he will seek him out and make his life a. living. hell.

Heavy Lifting:
Me: “Jack, I really need to move the China cabinet so I can vacuum the baseboard”
Jack lifts the cabinet with one arm and vacuums under it with the other. Sheer strength. And he doesn’t break a sweat.

Taxi services:
Situation: Daycare calls, my son is sick and needs to be picked up and I am in the middle of a conference call.
Jack: “I’ll call CTU and have a tac team pick David up with a medical doctor and he will be home in no time”.

Disputes with neighbors:
My neighbor has left boxes and trash on my beautifully manicured front lawn (don’t laugh, this is true)
Jack [to neighbor]: “Pick up your trash or I will see that you will never mow another lawn…. in… your.. life!”

Personal care:
Me: “I really need a pedicure and manicure, this cold winter weather has really wrecked my nails.”
Jack: “I know people that can help you, I’ll make a call… just… trust… me”.

Putting together toys:
Me: “Jack, I need your help to put together David’s Dinosaur Kingdom Set.”
Jack: “Let me get Chloe on the phone. ‘Chloe, can you pull up the schematics for a “Dinosaur Kingdom” and use the satellite to get the coordinates for the nearest Home Depot, I think I need an allen wrench for this one'”.

See? See how much Jack can help?

Well, you can’t have him. After he is retired with the TV series, he’s mine. Of course, you are free to visit me to have lunch on the porch.

Jack grills a mean burger too….

3 thoughts on “Save me Jack Bauer!

  1. First, don’t let them take David to CTU Medical…no one ever comes out of there alive.Second, don’t forget that Chloe would need to send the schematics to Jack’s PDA!

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