Grumpy mcGrumperson

Things That Make Me Grumpy (Long Weekend Edition):

1. Waiting all week to get my Chick-fil-A fix, and getting fries that are overdone and unseasoned. Argh! The tragedy!

2. This. Isn’t she, like, OLDER than me??? Where’s the fairness in that?

3. Making call #967 to medical insurance company only to be told everything in their universe takes 10-14 days to process (even though they told me 10-14 days 20 days ago).

4. Breaking my nail trying to open a can of soda- after I just painted them.

5. Finding out that the SPAM filter on my e-mail account has captured and EATEN 50% of my e-mail in the last two weeks because the upgrade I applied changed a setting. (Sorry if you sent me an e-mail recently and I haven’t responded. Resend if it was important and you jumped to the conclusion that I am ignorant).

6. My hair is falling out! WTF? I don’t know if it’s coming off the meds or stress or both.

7. Missing little D. He’s currently with the G-Parents down the shore celebrating his last weekend of summer vacation.

I hope you all have a nice weekend, and remember, do not use your just painted fingernails for leverage. Especially if you don’t get around to painting them often!

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The Map to Paradise

I got another update from the clinic today. Wasn’t even expecting one to tell you the truth, since the last time I spoke to the DC (donor coordinator) yesterday she said “no more updates.. see you at transfer!”.

We now have 10 fighters ready to duke it out as leaders of the pack. I’m just so tickled pink to have anything approaching Day 5 as an honest to G-o-d blastocyst.

Anyway, I have to share a funny story, because it’s always a joy to experience levity when you are about to make or break the rest of your life.

So who remembers the post I wrote about the worst transfer experience known to man (or me at least)? So if you weren’t reading along back then- it was last August 2008, and I had the most uncomfortable transfer because I happen to have a cervix that is certifiably wonky. It has good and bad days, and on the WORST, loves to hide and generally be a pain in the ass. I cringed the entire time I was on the table. No valium either that day, and who knows if that transfer was the cause of my Swan Song cycle to fail… anyway…

In speaking with the IVF nurse who called to tell me about my embies, I asked who will be doing the transfer tomorrow (there are 4 RE’s at my clinic). It happens NOT to be the doctor I had last time– Dr. No, for those of you familiar with my RE’s.

Now you might think, “Yeah!” BUT… it I love Dr. No. He was the man that did a blind HSG in under two minutes with my crazy cervix. Not to mention two trial transfers and a host of IUI’s.

It was just a bad day— that day last year. Dr. No took copious notes, and in my follow-up to failed IVF#1 he said… “I wrote a ton of notes, and if you have a future transfer, I will know exactly what to do, and how to get there! No worries!!”

Turns out the RE doing my transfer tomorrow is the RE I know least (but do like him what I know of him… he did my retrieval last year). Let’s call him Dr. Stevenson… because he reminds me of a young Parker Stevenson (Hardy Boys… anyone??? Shaun Cassidy played his brother?)

I digress.

So I ask IVF Nurse to remind Dr. Stevenson to look at Dr. No’s notes. I want to be VERY SURE that I am in NO PAIN and the transfer is as easy as possible.

Her response… was classic…

“oh yes! Dr. No’s notes were extensive, and I already passed them onto Dr. Stevenson. He even drew a detailed MAP to your cervix.”

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The fall of civilization

Well, I took my last BCP yesterday. Just waiting for AF to show. I’ll be happy to back off the Lupron a little bit. I’ve been having hot flashes at night. The headaches, not so bad as long as I keep hydrated.

The donor meds saga was resolved, but not without a minor freakout yesterday that all my work to date was for nothing when ONCE AGAIN a customer service person thought I was paying cash. Thank goodness for my new friend at the other specialty pharmacy who reminded me to remain calm, and then called the OTHER pharmacy to remind them of my insurance details. Ugh, such horrible communication between these insurance agencies.

Anyway, when it rains it pours. Husband and I recently changed over our phone service to the MASTER MONOPOLY CABLE PROVIDER in PA/NJ (we already had internet and digital cable with them), and man, they screwed us big time with our bill. In addition, our phones still aren’t working correctly since the initial install. S. has been in charge of that big ‘ole mess, and last night just went ballistic on the customer service folks. We call with a service problem that’s been ongoing for two weeks AND a bill issue… and what do they do?? They try to freaking up sell us on another one of their worthless features!! Arghhhh! Are you kidding me??

All of my complaints this week are directly related to the US Economy, I suppose. Is is me, or are all of you feeling like you have to fight with service providers more than you used to? I have to be honest, I feel like I have another full-time job just dealing with money-obsessed companies.

What’s next? Will my favorite donut shop start not filling my coffee cup to the top to save a penny?

Oh, nevermind. I don’t want to go there. That’s too traumatic to think about.

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You HAD to pick a fight, didn’t you?

First it was the Octuplet story that got my blood a’boilin. Although I didn’t post about it here, most of you know how I felt about that circus via comments to others blogs. That doctor should have his license pulled, and the media given a slap on the hand for their reporting of the story. I didn’t feel so much anger for Ms. Suleman, but rather feeling angry that others didn’t put the breaks on her ill-conceived (no pun intended) plans.

But now.

Oh, hold me back. I just finished reading a post on Mom Logic that sent me over the edge. In fact, it so made me angry that I had to sleep on this post otherwise you all would be trying to decipher my comments between a litany of four-letter words. Not to say I won’t use a few here, so be forewarned…

GINA (guest blogger), bless her heart, is probably the meanest Pro-Life advocate to ever walk the earth.

I respect women’s right to choose, but I have little tolerance for pro-choicers
who expect sympathy when they have a miscarriage.

Oh really, Gina?

If you believe that pregnancy doesn’t produce a baby until some magic
number (13 weeks? 20 weeks? 40?), then you must also agree that it’s ridiculous
to break down in hysterics, set up a memorial website for your “angel,” and seek
out a grief counselor when you start bleeding in your first trimester. After
all, you’re simply talking about the loss of a conglomeration of microscopic
cells, right?! That’s hardly something to cry about.

Oh, no, please SAY YOU DID NOT GO THERE Gina…

Advocate all you want, but don’t come crying to me when your hypocrisy hits
you like a ton of bricks. If you are going to defend the right to abort babies,
you don’t have the right to be upset when yours dies.

Ok, now I’m pissed. Are you fucking saying that I deserved five miscarriages????

First, before I go all nuclear on Gina’s ass… let me say a few things so you all know where I am coming from:

I am Pro-Choice. I do not dislike people who are Pro-Life. In fact, I have respect for anyone who can stand by a belief. Our views are uniquely our own, and we have the right to defend them.

However…. BEING Pro-Choice DOES NOT mean someone is PRO-ABORTION!

Pro-Choice means I don’t want the government in my fucking business. It has nothing to do with abortion. Two totally different things, Gina.

Gina, have you ever had a loss? Something tells me that you haven’t. It is a soul-crushing event. And regardless of political views, I have empathy and compassion for ANYONE that experiences a loss. The fact that you DON’T tells me one thing… you are a very misguided and evil woman. Actually, you might even be a man for all I know. I just can’t fathom someone writing such bullshit.

And, Mom Logic, despite your “disclaimer” at the beginning of the post, I am disappointed in you as a website. Clearly, there is a line where free speech crosses into hurtful vitriol. Something tells me that Gina being let loose is merely a tactic for page hits. Shameful.


Last, Gina, a few parting words… You may think my views are wrong, but at the heart of it, I am Mom and an Infertile. I have a living, beautiful son. I have had FIVE dead babies, each which I mourned and cried for. I have compassion. Therefore, I respectfully disagree with your rant, and hope that YOU NEVER experience a loss. Maybe then you will change your tune and not be so goddamn ignorant.

Gina, you have taken on a portion of the Internet that is much more unforgiving than I.

You better be ready for the backlash. You’ll finally get your 15 minutes of fame I know you’ve been waiting for all your life.

And it ain’t gonna be pretty.