Category Archives: Thoughts

Better the second time around?

Posted in Infertility, IUI#2, secondary infertility, Thoughts by

And so starts another cycle.

Thanks you guys, for your comments yesterday and e-mails. Who commented that I sounded sad but not devastated? It think it was you MM, and you are pretty dead on.

I am ok about it. Sad and bitter, but ok.

Because, in the world of IF a new cycle starts the beginning of a new chance. And, really, what’s better than living your life in two-week increments?? Yes, sarcasm indeed.

So, Thursday marks another Day 3 scan and bloodwork and the start of the dreaded IM injections. Actually, I lie. The injections are not that bad at all. S. is now an injection whiz, and I have it down to a science, really. At least they make me feel like I am working towards something, which is a good mind diversion.

It also helps to get moving onto a new cycle before the bills come in for the previous one. lol.

Sigh… I don’t know guys. It’s been 2 1/2 years of this rollercoaster. Maybe I need a Plan B.

Actually, Plan B is IVF, so maybe I need a Plan C.

A fresh start

Posted in Home improvement, I am not martha stewart, Thoughts by
Things are finally getting back to normal here from the holiday. Yesterday we lugged the last box of Xmas decor into the basement and my family room looked a lot bigger again without a tree and a mountain of toys.

I had this crazy idea, back before Halloween… that for each holiday of “stuff/decor” I was going to buy color-coordinating containers to put stuff in rather than miscellaneous cardboard boxes. So all my Fall decor is in orange 18-30 gallon plastic containers… and now (after raiding Target of the last clearance aisles) 10 red and green containers for the holiday decor.

The goal is to get rid of as much cardboard as possible.

1. Because the storage area in the unfinished side of the basement is risky (we had one flood a year back and I feel much safer with all my stuff in plastic and up/off the floor)
2. Keeps my sanity when I have to ask S. to bring up any seasonal stuff.
3. I feel organized.
4. Cardboard sucks and there’s only so many times you can tape and retape a box.

All of David’s (baby) clothes that he outgrew are also in big blue containers. Stacked in the corner should we ever need them again.

The crazy thing about all of this, is I feel so much better not wading through junk downstairs anymore. There was a time (before the basement was partially finished) when our basement was a graveyard… a dumping ground. When we were forced to organize and throw out stuff it took us TWO FULL DAYS and an entire dumpster.

Soon I can rest easy that my basement is a friendly environment, and not have that perpetual monkey on my back that I need to clean and organize. Sometimes tasks like that can be so overwhelming.

Next up after the basement is finito, the walk-in closet above the garage. 7×10 feet of more stuff I probably don’t need. Half of it is old baby stuff. Most days when I have to venture in there for something I don’t spend a lot of time. It’s currently a wasted space that could function as a sitting room, or a crafts room.

No matter what happens this year, I do plan to get rid of all of the contents (some of the stuff can’t be reused anyway). I feel like having it stare me in the face is doing me no good. Just a reminder that I’ve been perpetually waiting for 2 1/2 years.

Cleaning is good. Sorta like cleansing the soul at the same time.

All’s Quiet on the Ovarian Front

Posted in IUI#1, relaxation, Thoughts by
7dpiui, and all is well. Went in for the obligatory u/s and blood draw this morning and the conversation with Dr. P went like this:

[Dr. P scans the right ovary, and measures large gaping hole]

Dr. P: “So, the ovaries look good. No signs of hyper-stimulation, so we’ll do the HcG booster today”.

[Dr. P scans the left ovary, and measures equally large gaping hole]

Me: “So, I ovulated then right?”

Dr. P: “Oh yeah, nooooo question about that, looks very promising. We’ll see you back in 10 days for the beta.”

Stupid newbie question of the day to my BTDT buddies… can they tell if you ovulated on both sides? Or was I just reading too far in between the lines?

And, have any of you had the HcG booster? They gave it to me to stimulate the creation of more progesterone just in case. I guess that’s way better than those damn suppositories in the meantime.

In work news, I am off today! I closed out the year at work and home today with the boy. I’m thinking of swinging by Target for some plastic containers, and maybe a little miscellaneous shopping and errands.

Beats working!

Update: ugh, so the suppositories were prescribed anyway. I just can’t seem to get away without those awful things.

Raise your hand if you want a Christmas Miracle

Posted in IUI#1, Thoughts by
It’s Monday, and what better way to start the week than a trip to the RE.

I missed blogging about Saturday’s appointment, nothing earth shattering except to say on Saturday I had 4 lead follies (two on each side) measuring 10, 10, 11, 12… with a bunch of wannabes on each side under 8.

My E2 was 266. Doctor said all was “cooking” well, and sent me on my way.

Today (after 7 days of stims), I had u/s #4 and the sizes have increased slightly on three of the four from Saturday… they are now at 11, 12, 12, 12.5-13. Lining=11mm.
I gave another donation of blood too, I won’t find out the results of that until Wednesday at the next u/s unless they call me today to adjust my dosage.

So, S. is like an old pro now, and I think I finally got the hang of mixing all the vials and using the syringes. (Although I am still having some user issues drawing up and not creating a damn vaccum in the vial and syringe). David has witnessed our routine at bedtime, but he hasn’t asked why Daddy is giving Mommy needles. He has a habit now of giving me a kiss on my boo-boo when we’re done. So cute.

One issue I do/did have… because nothing is EVER freaking easy for me….
I think I developed some sort of UTI over the weekend. It was bothering me Saturday slightly, so I bombarded myself with water and cranberry juice, and I think I flushed everything out because I feel fine today. Nevertheless, I left a sample at the doctors just in case. The odd thing is I’ve only ever had one UTI in my life… and that was after I had David. So, of course NOW would be a good time for one, right???

Other than that snafu, I guess things are going as planned. I can’t remember, but I think they said that they wait to trigger until any reach 16? Does that sound right?

I assume Wednesday might be the pivotal u/s day. We are kind of hoping that trigger and IUI are towards the end of the week (Fri/Sat), because S. is off from work.

BTDT buddies, how close do you think I am? Having not done this before, and always wanting to know my schedule (sorta)…. is it logical to think this may go off before the weekend? I really want to avoid an IUI on Christmas Eve.

Of course, now that I just typed that… I probably jinxed myself. And furthermore, universe… if you see fit to have me do an IUI on that day, bring it on.

Are you thinking what I am thinking?

I’ll avoid the irony there… but just for now.