5w3d

My last blood draw was today.

hCG= 6,185 !!
p4= 86.8

Since my numbers were getting high on the last beta (and the doubling rate slows down after hCG >1200), the RE would have been happy with a 72 hour doubling time. But I exceeded expectations with a 50 hour doubling time. Quite awesome.

My first ultrasound is Friday morning.

I am fearful to get too excited. But damn, those numbers are great.

Randomness and Obsessive Tendencies

So I braved the below zero wind chill to enroll my son at the local Catholic school. There were a ton of people there. All us parents huddled in the gym sitting at the kid’s lunch tables looking like kids ourselves. Filling in the admissions applications with #2 pencils and then, standing in a single file line to hand in our manilla folders.
If you were a stranger peering in from the outside you would have thought the S.A.T. was going on. Dead silence.

The woman that took all my papers was nice enough. She made a few copies of some important documents, reviewed the papers, and was nice enough to let me attach a cover letter to the admissions form (my last ditch effort to make them see that we must. absolutely. have. to. be. accepted.)

So, I’ve done all I can and now we are in wait and see mode for the letter in the mail that determines the fate of David’s education. Fun, no? Kind of like getting accepted to college. Except the tuition is a little less. lol.

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In pg news, no news is good news I guess. I had a minor meltdown yesterday when I just KNEW my pregnancy was doomed.

I just can’t give myself a break. I was so obesessed with having/not having/having symptoms I was like a grenade ready to explode. Which now has proven my theory that I cannot enjoy a pregnancy no matter how good the signs are. These stupid miscarriages have robbed me of any sense of peacefulness.

Much like an addict, I guess.. I am always looking for the pregnancy “fix”, in this case my beta tomorrow and upcoming ultrasound. I just want someone to tell me things are going to be okay. Look into the crystal ball, and tell me what I want to hear.

That’s just not going to happen, so for now I am living day to day. Ok, maybe I fudged that a little. More like hour to hour.

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Today is hubby and I’s 13th Wedding Anniversary. 13 years. I just can’t believe how fast the time has gone. And everything we’ve been though…it’s still quite a wild ride. Still best friends. Love you sweetie….

How about that…

Still very pregnant.

A perfectly doubling beta today @ 20dpiui.
hCG= 1,678 and P4= 70.8

That progesterone number is still up there. Amazing. I always fought low progesterone, so it’s nice to see that a non-issue at the moment.

Next blood draw is Tuesday, and probably an ultrasound end of the week.


Still trying to take this all in. With the last four miscarriages, I never had good numbers to share. I could never relax and enjoy one day because I was always on the low end of everything. Low betas, low progesterone, no great news at all.

I should also say that yesterday I had an evening of the “sickies”. I felt yucky whether I was eating or not eating. I don’t remember ever having that reaction this early in a pregnancy.

So this is either the cruelest joke ever played on a human being, or maybe, just maybe I have a chance this time.

{crossing fingers tightly}

I need a diversion

Well, I’ve managed to get my mind-a-reeling doing something I shouldn’t do….. asking Dr. Google for his take on yesterday’s numbers. And after I did I freaked myself out with the possibilities good and bad.

Now that I’ve slept on it, I have a new perspective. I will handle whatever comes my way, one day at a time.

The next day being Friday, for blood draw number 3. Assuming that it goes ok (I hate to assume anything with my history) I am betting they will have me in for my first u/s next Tuesday (I would be 5w3d).

Until then, I am going to try to stop googling, and come up with some creative ways to fill the time.

Any ideas?? lol.