Category Archives: deFET #1

Down with the sickness

Posted in deFET #1, FET, H1N1, I had a bad day, Illness, Infertility by

Because, really… could this week even be more drama and suspense filled?

Little D has the flu. His symptoms started last night and evolved into something closely resembling H1N1. They are treating it as that because, well… it’s too early to be the seasonal flu, and he did have a regular flu shot a couple weeks ago. Process of elimination I suppose. S. took him to the doctor this morning for official diagnosis.

Half the town was there.

In speaking with the ped office and his school this morning, it seems Jersey went from the fewest cases of swine flu to a zillion in just the last week.

So far, S. and I are well. No symptoms for either of us. The house has been sanitized, and our hands are raw from repeated hand-washing.  I am waivering between concern for my son and concern for myself considering this is the WORST week for this to happen.  THE WORST.

I just want my baby to feel better.  And I want to not feel guilty for trying to keep my distance because of my own situation.

Transfer for my FET is tomorrow at 11am.

God-willing.

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He did the Monster Mash

Posted in deFET #1 by

Going to the RE’s office has become a death march of sorts. I can hear the music in my head as I walk from the parking lot to the door.

♫Duh, duh, da-duh, duh da duh-duh-duh-duh da-duh…♫

The waiting room has changed over the years. I really now feel like I’ve morphed into the “Norm” (Cheers, anyone?) of my clinic. I walk in and get the twenty questions game from my favorite staff and nurses. The newbies in the waiting room have that look on their face, as if they are thinking “egads, I hope I’m not here long enough for that kind of entrance…”

For me, the waiting room is always a step away from the worst moments of my life. And the exam room is always a reminder of the failures. I don’t remember the zillion follie checks, just the ultrasounds where I got bad news. It is never a good day when you get bad news while you are spread-eagle on an exam table with the hootchie cam in place. It’s a worse day when you have to go to the “Consult Room” immediately after an u/s.

That’s where the monsters live…

I considered going to the “big-farther-away-office” to escape having to face that dreaded room I’ve grown to hate. But my new found devil-may-care attitude said, “screw it, let’s just get on with it.”

Check in hand for one complete FET cycle (ouch), consent forms ready, I went today for my suppression check.

All is well.

Dr. Nerd was present an accounted for. His usual geekiness was bearable when he exclaimed that we are “not done yet”. “You put your trust in me to put a baby in your arms, and I am not stopping until I do.”

Really doc? Because watch your words unless you plan on throwing a freebie DE cycle my way.

I guess this train has left the station (again). I’m not sure what I am feeling. Except to say the Lupron coursing through my body now gives me additional leverage to freak out and blame it on hormones once more.

No turning back now.

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First Day Jitters

Posted in Back to School, deFET #1, First Grade by


I don’t know who was anticipating the first day of school more… me or David.

Anticipating, as in… nervous anticipation.

If you remember, last year I made the rookie Mom mistake of hanging around in the school hallway “just to see” how David was in his classroom. I peeked. As you also might remember, I caught him doing a very un-like David thing… silently crying (I call it the under-the-radar-big-boy-cry). Which made me cry.

To. this. day. my heart breaks when I think about it.

This year, my objective was a no-tears day. So we ushered him onto the bus and waved goodbye. Fifteen minutes later I met his bus at the school gym for the annual Parent Paparazzi event (picture a mass of parents with cameras). I distracted him as much as I could to keep his mind occupied and it worked.

The kids lined up by classroom, and 10 minutes later, he walked the same hallway to his NEW first grade room. This time- a wave and a smile.

No tears (well, not that I know of anyway). I did not follow.
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Today, first day jitters for me as well… of a different kind. Today is CD1 for my FET cycle. Well, you can call it CD1 just for posterity because there really isn’t a first day in an FET, except to say the first day for the meds leading up to it.

Today I start 2 weeks of BCP’s soon to add in the Lupron (which I just LOVE as you know). Transfer is set for October 27th. I got to pick the day.

Funny how easy it is to schedule an FET.

Far too easy.

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