Happiness Lost and Found

Well, I sort of followed my happiness ritual, although I have to admit there were days I was so down on life lighting a candle was the furthest thing from my mind.

The times I did light my candle alongside my office desk, I was mindful that the purpose was to stimulate happiness.

So there were days when I wanted to hurl it across the room… such as the days I couldn’t enjoy the fragrance of the candle because I had a) the flu, and then b) strep throat.

And then there were the days I just didn’t want to light it because moving from my chair was an exercise I had no motivation to do. Such as the recent ‘bad’ days as I’ve waited for the end to this miscarriage cycle.

But there were some good days. Like the day my cat, Luke, jumped up on the desk and watched the candle flicker above. I was mesmerized that he was mesmerized, and that made me think about how much my cat has been through with me. He was my companion long before I married S., and boy, has he seen a range of emotions over the last 16 years.

And then there was the day I lit one of my favorite scents, and curiously, a long forgotten memory was at the front of my mind. It was of my Grandmother, and it brought comfort on a day I needed it.

So I guess I didn’t totally fail this month. And I ended up with probably a couple extra happy moments that I would have otherwise not had.

I think I may be more successful at the second Happiness ChallengeMeditation.

Now here’s something right up my alley, and I can lay down doing it. lol.

Lord knows I could use some serious meditation.

Shades of yellow

I have been inspired by Mel, over at Stirrup Queens to participate in what may end up being an eye opening ongoing exercise for me…. recognizing happiness, understanding how it plays into my everyday life, recognizing that happiness can co-exist with emotions that aren’t very happy.

No, I am not experiencing a Dr. Phil moment.

Well, maybe I am. All I know is I read Mel’s first post about this topic and it hit me on the head that my background “color” to my life for the last couple of years HAS been shades of grey. Fleeting moments of happiness painted over a colorless, grey background. How can I alter that background so that happiness is the major undercurrent in my life and the stressful events end up as the blips on the radar (not the other way around).

Mel’s question:
What is happiness? As in, what is your definition of happiness?

Happiness to me are the little things in the course of a day that bring me great joy. Driving my car with the windows down and a cool breeze wafting though my hair. A quiet moment in the corner of the house sitting in my chair watching a candle flicker. Watching my son dance and sing and twirl. Anything that stirs the emotion of peace and serenity.

So my challenge over the next 30 days is to find it.

Oh, pshaw, I know what you are thinking. Shelli, you have lost your ever-lovin mind. On the contrary my dears.

Challenge One is establishing a Ritual Break. Choosing a ritual to incorporate in my day that will make me happy.

Sooooooo….

I hereby do declare that I will keep my favorite scented candle in my office (next to my desk) and light it at some point during each work day. Why? Because glancing at the burning candle and breathing in its sweet scent makes me deliriously happy.

Well, how about that, I just lit my first candle. Kinda nice to see it in my office as opposed to my fireplace mantel.

If you want to join in this experiment, click on the links I provided above and blog about it. Considering my mood has been pretty dark lately, I am hoping that this might be a little life-changing idea. At the very least, to paint a little yellow on those grey walls of mine.

Thank you Mel, for thinking up this exercise.