My last post of 2010 was about taking chances.
Step one, letting the world know about our plans to complete our family via adoption. And now… An even bigger step.
A new job.
It seems silly to equate my working life even close to that news, but this IS big news. I used my infertility as a crutch for far too many years when it came to work efforts.
I made excuses for not taking on new projects. I didn’t pursue promotions because I worried… “what if?..” what if I was cycling, pregnant, or recovering from miscarriage? What if I needed time off medically? I lived in a state of flux. I limited my work travel because of ultrasound appointments and calendars. I decided that life was better on permanent hold because I just couldn’t see past the success or failure of my baby making efforts.
Six years of a holding pattern.
And then… The excuses faded away.
Comical, really. Because I could get “the call” at any time now. Tomorrow, next month, next year.
And I may be patient waiting for that call, but I can no longer wait for life to pass me by. I WANT to do more. I want to experience fulfillment in a place other than the places I’ve focused on over those years.
My first step into the unknown on the workfront was a failure. I stuck my neck out. And I got burned. Or so I thought.
That job I pursued internally last fall (and didn’t work out) led me to another job. A job I liked even more. And guess what?
I got the job.
It’s scary, daunting, exciting, challenging, and it’s mine.
And I didn’t factor anything into my decision based on fear and the unknown. I based it on what will make me happy right now. I am not looking past this month, this week, THIS DAY.
When I said I was jumping out of the box this year?
Yeah, I wasn’t kidding.