Idiot 101

I have off from work today, so trying to take advantage of the day alone to house clean and prep for Thanksgiving.

It’s also one of those comical days that could easily be made into some funny yet god-awful Will Ferrell movie.

Take, for instance, my attempt to show the classy side of Shelli… and instead of just whipping out a wrinkly tablecloth to put on the Thanksgiving table, I decided to IRON the tablecloth. AND the napkins. Oh yes people, I spare no expense on turkey day… it’s all first class around here. So as I am ironing an incredibly LONG tablecloth my cat decides that as I iron and push the fabric to the other side of the ironing board, he is busy making it into his bed. You would imagine my surprise after I declared “I’m done!” only to look on the other side and see my cat clawing into said tablecloth. Ugh. As I pull him off, his claws take fabric with him and he’s in full sprint down the stairs with a tablecloth dragging behind him.

Yes, thank goodness I have a backup tablecloth.

Next, a trip to Starbucks to buy some Christmas Blend coffee (thank you Starbucks, for using the word “Christmas” and not changing it to “Holiday”). This blend is my favorite coffee, and the only time of year I clean up the actual coffeepot (I usually use my one-cup Keurig). So, I buy a pound and decide to get a Gingerbread Latte, but the barista must have gone foam-crazy… as I exit, I squeezed the cup lightly to hold the door for someone, and SPLAT… foam shot out of the cup and onto my shirt and chin. I HATE when that happens! Not to mention I looked like a fool.

As I am driving to another errand, yet another OMG moment… our main road in town is currently getting paved, so traffic has been horrendous with lanes being blocked off. Why they insist on doing major roadwork on the DAY BEFORE the day of Thanksgiving is beyond me. So, my side of the road is reduced to one lane (normally two lanes on each side separated by a divide). Imagine my surprise when I spy an old woman DRIVING IN FRONT of a steam roller in the CLOSED lane making tire tracks on brand new asphalt. Workers were waving at her frantically to stop and get out of the lane. What did she do???

She slowed down and waved back at them.

Aaaaahhhh, the fun has just begun. Just wait until the hi-jinks as I prepare Thanksgiving Dinner on Thursday.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I still have my humor, and that even though I had some close calls today, I am still not as big as an idiot as that woman driving on freshly poured asphalt.

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