Stuck.

I feel like I am running on a treadmill with the steepest incline and getting nowhere. And the effort isn’t even shrinking my ass. Talk about useless!

Every time I sit down to write this month, my eye wanders to a to-do list that gets longer and longer. I’m not sure what’s gotten into me. I’m all about lists and completing them. Or I used to be. Nowadays I scan the list and become so overwhelmed I shove said list under a book and sit staring into space with no purpose.

ARGH! It’s so frustrating.

I have four doctors appointments I need to schedule, and that’s just for me. Somehow, I manage to get S. and David squared away with doctor visits, just not my own.

Summer… is a hot topic for me. No pun intended. I decided to NOT enroll David in a summer day camp program this year. He’s had a bit of a rough year with school, so we decided to enroll him in a reading clinic at a local university. It’s just an hour and a half in the AM for five weeks. Challenging for my work schedule as it’s hard for me to just drop offline in the middle of the morning and be M.I.A. for a few hours. And you might be wondering how on earth I plan to work for the rest of the days… I am envisioning my laptop on the patio and buying dozens of outdoor games for David to occupy his time in the backyard. This summer I will be the Mom with the laptop and cellphone trying to juggle two months of a flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants schedule. I don’t want the boy sitting idle, summer should be about FUN after all, so I am a little nervous how I am going to swing it.

Adoption topic… is still a work in process. I am still investigating, interviewing with a few local agencies. We know for sure that our sights are set on a domestic adoption. At least we narrowed that down.  I have another appointment this month with an agency recommended to me. My stress and fear level goes through the roof when I think about this topic. Fodder for another post, because frankly…. it’s too emotional to just pay lip service in this post.  So you must wait for news on that.

S.’s job… still up in the air. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L. He has one, at least for another 30 days. By the end of summer we could be up the creek. I am being supportive for now. Big changes are coming whether we like it or not. We just don’t know how it will flush out… yet.

Meanwhile, the house is in disarray. After 10 years in this house, we are forced to start upgrading all the builders-grade crap this house came with. And some.  Things are starting to fall apart, and we’ve been spending a lot of time at our local home improvement center. Some of the projects were willingly started by us, like the new front door we have on order (the current one is so warped I can see outside from the INSIDE!). Other projects are the result of things just breaking- the air conditioner, attic fan, bathroom fixtures. Oh, and a bundle of cash dropped last month for termite treatment. Yes, new houses can get termites. Think of me when you see the Termin.ix commercial with the bugs knocking on the door.  Hopefully, they won’t come for YOU.  heh.

Fortunately, not a penny has been spent this year on infertility treatments. I am going to take that as a blessing that instead of trying to fix a broken ME, we are fixing a broken house instead.

At least that money is well spent.