I hate the fact that lately I haven’t had much to say lately that was positive. If you all knew me IRL you would know that I am (mostly) a glass half-full kind of girl. Sure, you can beat me down with a stick, but I am like that dandelion that keeps coming back on your almost weed-free lawn. Resilient.
I am requesting another job within the company I work for (it’s pretty much a done deal, just waiting for the final word). I’ve decided that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Part of my problem at work is the company itself (could go on for hours on this topic), and some of the people as well have driven me to the point of insanity. It does not, however, extinguish my personal flame for wanting to succeed in something I am good at. The fact is, I want to work. Work replenishes me when the chips are down (and they have, haven’t they?). I need to work. And maybe a change of scenery would be a welcome change. My ultimate goal is to do something I like, and I have a crazy grand plan in my head. I am pondering a complete career shift. Too early to talk about yet- still kicking out the cobwebs and figuring out the financials.
Secondly. You all know I HATE starting drama. I just don’t do it as a rule. I have enough infertility drama to span a lifetime, so I am never one to pick a fight.
But I am pissed OFF at a fellow infertilty blogger. It was a few posts that set me off into the deep end. I was offended. Twice. I considered commenting, but then I remembered the golden rule… “If you can’t say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” No, I am not linking or divulging here in this post. It’s childish. But I will tell you I promptly removed this person from my reader.
The thing about blogs… they are so personal. Many of us open our lives to complete strangers in the hope that we find a common bond, a kinship with another who has walked our path. So coming into contact with someone that beats down their own kind? Disrespectful.
BagMomma 
I kind of understand about feeling bad about it seeming like you have only negative or pessimistic things to say. I've sort-of been in hat same space on my own blog and I'm trying to work around and through it. I know it's my space and I can fill it with a bunch of emotional crap if I want to, but somehow having all there in the open in black and white makes it harder to ignore (and thus hold on to the half-full outlook I try to maintain). I get it. Hugs to you, Shelli.
Thanks for your post…in reading YOU, I had a gentle reminder to myself that all of my posts do NOT have to be positive and happy. WE are entitled to post about our feelings, whatever they are. Thanks for helping me remember this!Crossing fingers for you that things work out with a new job at your company.And pooey on people who aren't respectful of others. Sorry your former blog friend made you feel let down.
I think it's kind of a myth that once you experience IF, you become this sensitive, caring, thoughtful person. IF affects us all in different ways. It makes some of us better people, and I've seen it bring out the worst in people as well.I have a bloggy friend (who I've met IRL) who is somewhat well-known in the world of IF/blogging. She is intelligent, smart, funny, etc. She has also been deeply scarred by her IF experienced. When I managed to get pregnant in March, I couldn't believe some of the comments she made to me. I won't repeat them here, but they were highly offensive. And I think she absolutely no idea how hurtful she was. I avoid the subject with her these days.I think the best you can do is, as you said, remember that the blogs are personal and that we are all dealing with this as best we can. I would bet that most people don't intend to hurt, even if they do. Sucks when they do though, huh?Good luck with the new gig! I hope it brings so relief from the stress and worry on that front.
I read because I feel a connection to you, whether you're positive, sad, angry, joyful, whatever.Just know that this is YOUR blog, and do what you need to do on it.Good luck with the new job transition, I wish you luck there. A year ago, I did something similar and haven't looked back.Most of all, here's some ((HUGS)) for you!
Hey lady. This is YOUR blog. I don't WANT you to be fake and all sunshine and butterflies if that's not how you're truly feeling. I like the raw, real, sometimes-glass-half-empty girl just as she is. Ultimately, you want to look back and read over posts from the past and truly reflect on what went on and how it made you feel, not a bunch of BS that you said just for show. So no worries there. I know how you feel, though. I haven't blogged much over the course of this year because well – things have kind of sucked. And it doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for what I have (I am), it just comes across that way since I'm focusing on the negative.. it's difficult to acknowledge the positive, though (who walks around saying 'I'm dissapointed that I have the flu, but I'm so grateful for my access to good medical care! not realistic). I don't want to be perceived the wrong way, either.I hear you on the blog world. I have honestly been doing a lot of reading, but not commenting.. maybe I'm too sensitive, I don't know – but a lot of things have offended me lately.I'm glad that you have the option to transfer to another position within the same company.. hopefully things will look up soon. Hey, speaking of.. some people in my house are currently driving *me* insane – I wish thatg I could transfer to another position sometimes, hehe.P.S. Sorry about the pumpkins :O(.. have they been replaced with even bigger, better pumpkins yet? We haven't gone to get ours yet – soon, though!Thinking of you.
yeah, good luck with the job activity. Sorry to hear someone pissed you off. I have a beef with one blogger that not only snapped my head off because I was being too positive but hasn't offered one word of support throughout my cycle.I deleted her from my reader too. Thanks for your support! EB
Hey Shelli, hope the job thing works out – that can be so stressful on top of everything else! And I hope your DH is holding out ok with his job loss, boys sometimes take it really hard (mine did when he was out of work for 18 months – a rotten time for sure). Best of luck –