There goes my psychic connection again…

When I wrote that post on Tuesday? It was immediately before I had the worst conversation with my employer in my life.

In. my. life.

Coincidence? I don’t know, but sometimes I scare myself when coincidence is far too repetitive.

I am ready to plan my departure from the corporate chess match. I am done. Maybe I can live on my dream job as a barista at Starbucks.

Man, I wish I could share details, but I won’t because there could be eyes here, and damn you Blogger for not having a pw protect option for posts.

It is most sad and maybe, just maybe…. a sign. Bigger and better things (and less stress) are ahead. It’s not even the money anymore that matters. I refuse to check my reputation at the door. I will not be insulted.

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I am also struggling with blogging. You know it already, and I’ve been singing a sad tune for a month now, but honestly I am out of words.

I know it’s my state of mind. I know I am depressed. I know I need to spend time avoiding a nervous breakdown. I just need to start a plan.

I am mad at myself for not taking care of me. I’m not sleeping, and (surprise) the fat girl (that’s me) isn’t eating well, if at all. Why is this momentous? Because I am used to stuffing my face to deal with any kind of stress. That is how I operate- until lately. There is no joy in food, and THAT my friends is a sign I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

So please bear with me. I might be here less. I might comment less.

But please don’t leave my side. I need you my friends.

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15 thoughts on “There goes my psychic connection again…

  1. I ain't going anywhere. Sending you hugs, my dear; you take care of you.I have an authentic voodoo doll from New Orleans – want me to send it to you? Or I can just stab it a few times while thinking of your boss, if you like…:)

  2. oh sweetie hugs! i am glad you got out of the bad job but i am so sorry you are feeling not yourself! i will be here for you promise, blog when you can we will still be reading.

  3. Shelli, please do whatever you need to do to feel better. I've felt the way that you do, for different reasons of course, but it sucks just the same. Call me if you need me – to talk or just to share a cup of coffee. Just remember – YOU ARE LOVED…just the way you are! Love, Emily

  4. I am right here–not leaving. You can vent as much as you need, work out what you need to work out. Or even be quiet for a bit.I will let you in on a secret better than being the barista–being the dishwasher in the back. I did it one summer. I listened to the radio all day and everyone left me the fuck alone except to drop off dishes so I could just think and think and think.

  5. Not cool, universe, NOT cool.I'm proud of you holding your ground, whatever is happening at work. Please take care of yourself, for you, for hubby and son.Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers…Big HUGE ((HUGS)), Shelli!

  6. SO sorry you're having such a crappy time at work. I think it is so difficult because it's so easy for work stress to influence other areas of our lives.I admire you standing up for yourself and not allowing people at work to be disrespectful to you—NO job is worth that!We're here for you! Take the time you need to feel like YOU again. Hugs!

  7. ((((Shelli)))) Take your time. We’ll be here. And try not to be too hard on yourself – you’ve been through things that would crumble most folks.Change is scary. But stick to your guns; you're already one step ahead if you see the opportunities! Just don’t disappear altogether. Even if you have no words for a blog, write one or two lines to let us know you’re still there. Small steps, Shelli, small steps.

  8. So sorry the stress keeps getting piled on when you need some healing time. I hope you get the space and time to take care of yourself. I hope you find the sunlight again but until you do, we'll just sit quietly in the dark together. Sending you hugs and sleep vibes.

  9. I hope that you consider seeing a therapist. Honestly, I'm amazed you haven't yet with all you have been through! I have gone because of a heck of a lot less. Maybe they can give you a new perspective and some tools on how to find your next stage in life.As for blogging, take a break, look around, see what you want to do. It's OK to step back once in awhile, from blogging, working, etc.Good luck!–MM

  10. Please don't ever call yourself The Fat Girl again. It's only an outward manifestation of what is going on inside. Be gentle and kind with yourself, as often as you can, and especially now.I am glad that you can see the changes on the job front as opportunity for better things. It's amazing how what appears to be bad can actually become something very good. And it sounds like you've been there a long, long time. As they say, when one door shuts… and yes, good for you for standing up for yourself. Even without details, you sound STRONG. And that is good.I know these have been very difficult days for you and I am so sorry that you are going through so much all at once.I hope very much that you'll have good news soon, on all fronts.

  11. Oh no! I'm sorry, hon. Although, I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself. Good for you!Your friends won't go anywhere! Take the time you need to get yourself together. We'll be here when you need us. Always!*HUGS*

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