As soon as I typed the title to this post, I couldn’t get the damn song out of my head. Thank you Helen Reddy, wherever you are.
So, first off… thank you, internet friends and real life friends for coming to my aid yesterday. Some of you even called me at home and sent heartfelt e-mails, and for that I am thankful. I was bursting with the need to talk, and thank goodness I had the opportunity.
The donor was a dud. She has some major mental health issues in her family (and herself) and pretty much fabricated some of her health history. Leave it to me to pick that one, right?
After I stopping crying. , “Whhhhhy MEEEEEEE!” ala Nancy Kerrigan style, I came to my senses yesterday afternoon and called back my clinic.
The news in the morning was upsetting, but after another cup of coffee and some low-fat Ben and Jerry’s at 11am (frozen yogurt before noon???…sue me) I once again spoke to Nurse T., who, although at times is sort of an ice queen, really took the time to talk out our options. I thanked her for steering me far, far away from this donor, and looking out for my best interest.
So, back to the book this week. There’s been a flurry of additions since last December when I looked at it, so I am going to look at the in-house donors. Many of them are cycling now, and it’s possible I can piggyback on after another donor and not have to wait for the pre-requisite testing. Or, I can pick a new donor. Or I can pick from the agency.
So, if you read along in the comments yesterday, I talked about WHY my clinic does not pre-test off the bat. They are a smaller operation, and frankly, they found it costly to micro-manage all their donors before they get put on the list since many of the tests need to be timely, AND the fact most of the donors never get chosen. I appreciate the fact that they offer in-house at all. For one major reason…. MONEY. By choosing in-house, I am shaving off $5-6K in admin and donor compensation. They never discourage anyone going to the agency. They are just trying to keep the cost down to their patients.
The question boils down to time and money. Now that this donor is out, I am anticipating vacation in just over a month from now. And after this, HELL YEAH, I am going on vacation. So for me, again, time is not the issue. I am perfectly fine with my chosen donor doing her testing and ramp-up while I have my toes in warm sun and sand for 10 days.
For my pain and suffering, my clinic is waiving all pre-testing fees and halving their admin fee if I go in-house again. My choice.
So, there we are. I think I learned a very valuable lesson though this, and the way I choose the donor is going to have nothing to do with physical traits or age, and everything to do with life experience, proven fertility, and stability.
Here we go again. Hang on.