Hurry up and wait

I honestly wish I could tell you this donor cycle is kicking off, but we are still in the rough patch of the waiting game.

The donor still isn’t done with the last task to get this moving forward. The sluggish pace is is not purely anyone’s fault alone… it’s a mixture of bad weather, rescheduled appointments, and the very specific step-by-step process that MUST FOLLOW a straight line.

The RE is done with all the required visits (consults, Day 3 testing, u/s, basic b/w last month), we are just waiting for the infectious disease blood work to come back (donor had blood draw yesterday). If the donor doesn’t pass that, then everything is for naught. The last (expensive) task was the psych appointment, which got pushed out because the last blood work got rescheduled.

I appreciate that the RE doesn’t want me to incur needless money by doing everything out of order (because if the donor flunks one test, it’s dunzo anyway)… but… I am getting a little anxious.

I realize that this is the nature of the beast, so to speak. The anonymous donor I chose is not with an agency (she is from my RE’s private list of local donors), so I am stuck waiting for a lot of the screening that would already be done if I had chosen from an agency. There is an upside, however, in that the cost out of my pocket is much less in the long run with the RE handling the show. Not to mention, this donor is ours alone… not a shared cycle with another recipient couple. And, we pay no travel expenses.

The downside is the state of limbo. I feel like a jilted girlfriend waiting by the phone for my boyfriend to call.

I spoke to the Donor Coordinator today, she was very adamant that I can bug her if I feel the communication isn’t quick enough. Basically, she’s to call me in a few days with the last b/w result. If it’s clean, then we move on to the last requirement, and the calendar commences posthaste.


We are so close to getting this show on the road. Please gather all the positive vibes you can and send them my way. I am feeling a little dejected.

12 thoughts on “Hurry up and wait

  1. Hurry up and wait syndrome is also very prevalent in the surrogacy community, which, even though this is a different situation, for the most part all the same medical and psychological stuff is involved. So yeah – I totally get it, and I can only imagine how much worse the feeling is when you’re left to impatiently drum your fingers on the desk waiting until the middleman gets back to you with important information. The good thing is that once everything clears, it’ll feel like you’re going so fast that you’re flying by the seat of your pants, especially because you’re on the recipient end. But oh, if that day can only get here just a little bit faster….Hang in there! I’m impatiently waiting with you!

  2. Thanks everyone, for the words of encouragement. I need to focus my nervous energy somewhere other than obssessing about this! But of course, you all know that is a losing battle. lol

  3. It seems like there are always delays, not matter what route you take. In this case, I’m hoping good things really do come to those who wait.

  4. It seems like there is always some sort of delay wiht IF treatment, no matter that point you’re at.Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m almost at the point of moving forward with DE. It has been a long road…

  5. You are very lucky that you aren’t sharing. We had our schedule delayed because the coordination of three people is so complicated. I think I had to put my cycle on hold for about 6 weeks. Just think of it this way: the 2ww will seem like a nanosecond….right?

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