How did you get here?

Often, I giggle when reading the keywords that bring people to this site. Sometimes I roll my eyes, or even cry a little on the inside.

I guess having a blog spanning three years provides many opportunities to pop up on a Google search now and then. Some of the most searched items on my blog have little to do with the content of my blog, but that’s of no surprise.

My personal favorite, from years ago… “human dingbats”. Oh yes, I’ve met a few, but not of the non-human variety. Zombie dingbats? No, not here.

Of course every time I mention a celebrity or current event, I end up on the radar. I think some people have a Google Alert set up on specific search terms, and if you mention the secret word, BOOM, you get spammed or get a ton of out of line and ignorant comments to a post.

Imagine the horror of someone searching for a po.rn site and ending up on BagMomma. lol. I guess the beauty of discussing female parts over the years can be misleading… can’t it?

“5w3d and my boobs don’t hurt”

Yeah, like that.

The majority of search terms other than those related to handbags are those infertility related. No surprise there.

But sometimes, the keywords grab my attention, and I wish the person would come back so I could converse with them.

“RE dislikes my weird cervix”
“my stinkin lazy ovary”
“POAS syndrome”
“coming to grips with secondary infertility”
“6w3d no heartbeat”
“over 40 IVF a waste of time”
“pregnancy loss”
“recurrent pregnancy loss and depression”
“why can’t I have a baby”
“my friends ignore my infertility”
“scared of d&e”
“losing hope for pregnancy”

I envision the folks googling, like I’ve done so many times… looking for validation, or someone who has been through what they are going though. Haven’t we all been there?

There was a point after my last (5th) loss that I Googled for anyone who had a success story after having so many miscarriages. I knew someone out there existed, I did find a few, but more than that I wanted to find another blog that I could identify with and one that would re-engage hope. Being broken, well, it’s also natural to want to find others that know what’s it’s like to be broken. It’s hard to exist in a circle when you are the only one left in it. It’s lonely. And any infertile will tell you, when all your blog friends have met the one goal you can’t reach yourself, it’s also natural to want to widen your circle to find someone still in the trenches.

I wish I had an internet robot of some sort that could help me gather those who happen upon this site by way of Internet search on certain terms. Something that would open a pop-up box to say “Don’t leave, we have more to talk about!”

Over the years I’ve also happened upon a few anonymous posters who left such eloquent and meaningful comments but provided no way to track them down. This is frustrating to me, especially when the majority of anon posters are just trolls looking to pick a fight.

The Internet is a vast place. A place of mostly passers-by sprinkled with some really lovely people you meet along the way.

So if you are reading this post via a search, and you need an ear… I’m listening. Because I’ve been there too.

8 thoughts on “How did you get here?

  1. Pingback: This Chapter is Closed | BagMomma

  2. This post brought me out of lurkdom! I think I found your blog while googling and attempting to find others who have had as many m/c. I wish I could remember what terms I had used. I had 4 m/c in a row (all within a year of each other – the last in Dec) and am now on a long, I-don’t-know-what-we-are-going-to-do break. But I don’t blog about our TTC because too many friends and family read my blog. It is hard enough dealing with the m/c. I don’t want everyone else complicating it. Plus I kinda got tired of blogging after my last m/c.

  3. Strangely, on my DE blog… I rarely check my stats. I have another blog, and used to be obsessed with them. Always trying to figure out who was who… I don’t seem to care much anymore.Well, I tagged you. So you’ve got some ‘fessing up to do, young lady. Check my latest post.

  4. Shelli, any IF sucks. 2ndary IF sucks in a different way, because you already have a child. Yes, us 2ndary IFers know how lucky we are to even have a child, but it doesn’t mean we don’t dream of a sibling for the ones we’ve got. I actually had one person tell me I was greedy! (((Hugs))) to you. The shoes hurt a lot for anyone who wants to walk in them. To find some others in your boat, try the Stirrup Queen’s blogroll – she’s got them listed by category (

  5. I think I found your blog through one of those desperation searches…prolly something like RPL, miscarriage, BFN or something fun like that.But, I am SO thankful that I did. Great post.

  6. I love this post. I've been thinking along similar lines and had even mentally written a blog post about it. I have recently had a lot of hits along the same "reaching out" lines and wished that I could gather those people and reach back. ***And why do I now have the old AT&T commercial song in my head? Reeeeeeaccch ooout. Reach out and touch soooooomooooneee. ‘cuz I totally wish that I could.

  7. it is soo crazy the searches that ppl make and end up at my blog too! haha some are just plain old funny! it is sad when you can’t get in touch with someone who left a great comment. have you looked on mels amazing list to find some more blogs like yours?? i am sure there are some on there!

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