Once upon a time

Last week, husband and I had our obligatory “donor recipient counseling session”. It was nice to talk to someone and lay out 4 years of infertility hell on a platter.

Dr.K was a lovely counselor. I was a little nervous talking to her on the phone when I made the appointment weeks back (she had a thick accent which I couldn’t decipher). But in person, I found her to be witty and very knowledgeable about infertility. And the accent? Her roots are in the former Republic of Yugoslavia (specifically Bosnia) by way of Poland.

I have to admit, I did most of the talking. For those of you who know me in real life, you also know S. is not much of a talker (although he can get chatty if the mood inspires him). But I have to admit, when Dr.K gave S. open-ended questions, I got a ton of devilish enjoyment watching him squirm to find the right words to say. He is so charming, and it reminded me why I love him so.

At a point in the discussion, Dr.K asked how long we have been together.

The answer, not so easy.

Married for 14 years next week. Dated 2 years prior to that. But when we met?? S. and I were 10 years old. Neighbors. Our Moms were friends, our brothers were friends. Oh, and S. was my first kiss on the cheek. We were buddies all through grade school.

We didn’t date until I was nearly 24 years old. In fact, even though we went to school together, we led entirely separate lives through high school.

That was when Dr.K looked at us in amazement, and said, “how delightful… a happy ending.”

After the session was over, I felt a little bit giddy that I was able to talk to someone who would not judge me. And later that night, as I sat on the edge of the bed, I had a thought.

Being so focused on this one big goal, I do admit to forgetting how much I do have. I married my best friend. And, I had a baby! I did (it’s hard to believe). In 2003 I gave birth to David, which in hindsight was nothing short of a miracle.

So, yes, I’ve had more than a few happy endings.. and on the days I feel in the dumps, I will remind myself that life never hinges on a single goal.

Not to say I don’t have more happy endings in store.

In fact, I am counting on it.

7 thoughts on “Once upon a time

  1. You and you DH have a pretty amazing story. I felt hte same way when I and my counseling session. Just so happy that someone understood and didn;t judge..in fact she was supportive. I;m not saying others are not supportive they just don;t unswerstand the issues or exactly how to be supportive.And thanks for the reminder about taking time to acknowledge how good life already is. Despite the bumps it’s good. On any given day it could be stressful, sad, frustrating, depressing but in the sum…life is good.

  2. You are so right! I am terrible at this. It is so easy to get blinded by what you are unhappy about in your life, without recognizing what you ARE happy about. I have to try to constantly remind myself, because it doesn’t come naturally to me to think in a glass-half-full-kind of way. But it is healthier!–MM

  3. yuppe I am so glad your appointment went well, and you got to talk your face off! sometimes that is soo needed hey, to talk to someone who listens and dosen’t judge! that is great!! I also believe you have some more happy endings coming 🙂

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