I hate writing this post, but feel compelled to.

You see, since I’ve started this blog, I’ve always taken the time to ramble on about how many dreams and hopes were dashed in the previous year.

Each year, I become a little more hardened. A little more hopeless, and a lot more bitter.

On the eve of the 2007 new year while reflecting on 2006, I talked about resolutions. Specifically, resolutions I won’t keep (it’s the pessimist in me). Yeah, that was far fetched. I actually have kept resolution #6. Yes, I did eventually take those seven jars of change to the bank, and with the $343 cash in hand, I bought (part of) a handbag…. thereby defaulting on resolution #1 (I will not buy as many handbags).

On the eve of the 2008 New Year, I bid adieu to 2007 in a decidedly snarky fashion. It was one of the worst years yet. Family medical turmoil, the death of a friend, the death of my dog AND my cat. Oh, and let’s not forget miscarriage #4, also known as the miscarriage of HELL. Read my archives for that one. You’ll need about a day of free time.

So, 2008, what can I say? Cruel is a word that comes to mind. 2008, you were like the bad boyfriend that plays head games. You made me psycho.

The pregnancy on my 40th birthday that seemed destined to succeed. And then you shit on me yet again, 2008. Thank you for that.

Then, the last attempt in August with my feeble old eggs. You made it seem like it was a dream IVF cycle, and WHOOPS! There goes the rug out from under me again.

You continue to disappoint, 2008.

Of course, 2008 wasn’t all bad. We three are here, present, and accounted for. My family is healthy. We still have jobs (well, today anyway… thanks GM).

I greet 2009 with mixed emotions.

2009, you have your work ahead of you. 2006, 2007, and 2008 failed to tow the line and now you are left holding the bag as it were.

Curiously, as the clock strikes twelve this evening, I will be kissing my honey as I have done every year. Usually, we hug and vow that THIS YEAR will be OUR YEAR.

But this year we have promised to make no expectations of you at all.

Now that the pressure is off 2009. you can rest easy for 365 days.

Yeah, I’m generous like that.