I’m having “one of those days” already, and it’s only 8:05am.

I woke up only to realize I overslept (thanks to my new friend, over-the-counter sleep aids). S. was already out of the shower, and David was still asleep in bed.

As I woke up David, I found he had a nosebleed in the middle of the night. A giant puddle of blood on the pillow, on the sheets, on the mattress cover. Lovely.

So I stripped the bed, and decided to get a quick shower. But, HELLO?! the shower was freakin’ ice cold. There once was heat, after all… S. had steamed up the mirrors… but for me NO HOT WATER. It was a quick and bone chilling experience.

Now I head downstairs and see S. replacing light bulbs in the hallway. I ask “why are you doing this now???” his reply, “the house is about to burn down”. It appears that those energy saving lights I’ve been replacing throughout the house don’t like closed-in light fixtures. Who knew??

In my rush to get David’s backpack together, I trip over a metal toy wagon in the hallway.

I promptly yelled “OWWWWW! Jes&*^ frig8^$#” and threw the wagon out of the side door into the garage.

Problem solved.

It’s about this time when I realize it’s pouring rain outside, and windy as hell. I figure it’s best to take the car to the bus stop.

Meanwhile, David is getting dressed in his uniform, and he yells that he can’t find his shoes.

Oh man.

I suddenly remember that I left them out on the front step the day before… because his shoes were muddy and I didn’t want him tracking mud in the house.

His shoes were still outside on the step alright. In the RAIN. Soaked!

Idiot mother that I am, I only have ONE pair of uniform shoes. I had meant to buy a back-up pair (I almost always do), but I never got around to it. Dumb me.

Now we are late, and I am frantically writing a note to his teacher… “Sorry about the shoes…”
and we barely jump into the car and I see I have no umbrella. Figures.

We pull out of the driveway, and no sooner do we drive down the street and around the corner… here comes the bus. I leap out of the car, and attempt to open the rear door for David, only to realize the child safety lock was engaged so the door was locked. I run back to my door and unlock the doors and tell David to run to the bus.

“run David, runnnnn!” It was a Forrest Gump moment in pouring rain and wind.

I am only holding back 15 cars waiting on the bus. I know someone was cursing me from behind the wheel, because I used to be that person before I had David.

Now I am here in the safety of my home office. About to begin the work day. All sharp objects have been removed from my office, and I have a giant mug of coffee at the ready…

What else could go wrong today??? I mean, really…