Well, I am back from transfer and I have to note that it was probably the most harrowing experience thus far.

It started out innocent enough, I met with Dr. No and the embryologist, and we decided to transfer four. Embryologist noted that all twelve embies were still growing. Amazing. Dr. No urges us not to do five, he thinks that the embryo quality is good, but ultimately leaves it up to us.

Four it is.

Embryologist selected the top four and away we went. Feet in stirrups. Belly jellied up. Ultrasound in position. Equipment in position.

First, my bladder was too full. Oooops. So we made a pitstop. Get down from the table, and use the two supplied drapes to shimmy out to the bathroom.

Back on the table. I thought we were ready.

But no.

One more trip to the bathroom, and this time I am instructed to empty completely.

Back to the table. Now the real fun begins. Dr. No is digging to China in my netheregions, and reminds himself that I have an “unusual cervix”. Yes, we established that about two years ago.

Turns out my pesky cervix is now upturned AND swings a little to the right. Thereby making placement of the catheter an Olympic Event.

After 15 minutes of poking, we’re in. The embryos are released.

The embryologist leaves the room to check to make sure all four exited the catheter.

As luck would have it, nope. “Two retained,” she noted, and we start all over again to place the final two.

10 minutes later, we’re in position again. And we release the other two.

Except only one released.

We tried our darndest to get that fourth in place, but Dr. No grew weary of poking my cervix. He really worked it (and worked it) but in the end, we decided to stop the expedition into my uterus and just be happy with three.

So, currently I am home to THREE high-grade, low fragmented, 8-celled embryos. Number 4 went back to culture with his/her siblings.

Sounds good to me.

The moral of this story, I can make any easy process hard like nobody’s business.

And now I can feel confident, because this appointment met my quota for bad luck.

Why, the next 10 days should be smooth sailing!