I had the weirdest dream last night. And I remember all of it.

The meat of it being I was on vacation, on what looked like a caribbean island. A storm was coming…. and I was frantically packing a suitcase. Running though my mind:

I need to get away from here, far, far away.

I need to make sure I have everything packed. What have I forgotten??

As I ran with my suitcase between two cottage type buildings, the sky swirled into blackness. And as I entered the door of the one building I realized my family was there. They were having a party… happy and dancing. My RE was there, and my Dentist (ummmm, yea…I have no idea, stay with me here…). I looked out a wall of windows onto a very scary looking ocean. Small waves lapped against the windows, and I thought:

Oh, hell I’m not going to get out of here.

I turned and saw a man who asked me if I was ready.

Ready for what???

“The END” he said.

Just then a wave crashed through the window. But instead of it enveloping all of us, we flew above it. I sat in a circle arm-in-arm with my hubby and David and we drifted into the sky.

The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and very peculiar music was playing. I can still hear the tune in my head, but I don’t know where I’ve heard it before. I looked down, and saw the blackness further and further away.

And then I woke up.

This dream has been on my mind all morning. Freaky, I know.

Today is CD1 for my IVF cycle. As I dialed the phone to call the RE, the dream started making sense.

It’s not the beginning of the apocalypse, or The End….

…but a beginning to something that deep down scares me a little.

This cycle is make or break for my own eggs.

My personal swan song.

It will finally close the book on the mystery of whether my eggs will result in a baby. Because this is the last time I’m putting MY eggs in one basket.

Here we go…