Another soul in heaven

Luke was born in a bush outside my bedroom window at my parent’s house.

We had started feeding a stray….. we called her Candy, and unbeknownst to us she was pregnant at the time. So it was a surprise when I woke up one July 4th morning in 1992, groggy eyed, to see Candy outside my window with four little kittens snuggled up to her.

I loved cats, and as a younger girl, we had a few over the years… but they were inside and outside cats. After awhile they would become bored and just leave, or met untimely demises despite all the love I showered them with while they were with my family.

I carefully adopted out each of Candy’s kittens, and eventually one was left. I begged my Mom and Dad to keep him. I wanted to keep him inside the house with us. After much protesting, and buttering up my parents, they let me keep him.

I named him Luke…. after Luke Perry of 90210 fame.

Luke became Lukemeister (I think my brother started that name), or Mr. Meister, sometimes Lukie, often you could hear my brother and I shout…. “MMMMMMeister!”

He was a dog in a cat’s body. He would come when you whistled or called him by name. He would follow me around the house, beg for treats, and sleep in my bed. If I was upset he knew I would feel better with him around me. He loved to be scratched under his chin.

He was there for my first job, my wedding, three houses, my pregnancy with David, my four miscarriages, 15 Christmas holidays, and 15 Birthdays.

And today he is gone.

Yesterday, S. and I took off to go Christmas shopping for the boy. But over the weekend, my dear cat had stopped eating and on Sunday night, he vomited all over the place. He had been hacking since Thanksgiving, and silly me thought he might have a very large hairball.

So we rushed him to the Vet yesterday (yes, the same place we rushed our dear dog not 5 weeks ago) to get some tests done. His weight was down to 10 pounds…. a shadow of his former tough-cat self when he was 17 pounds a year ago.

S. and I decided to let them keep him for the day. We drove 20 minutes to Toys R Us, and I was not even through the front door when they called with the result of the x-ray.

He had cancer. A tumor in his chest protruding into his lung and heart. As I held the phone to my ear, I suddenly felt dizzy and hot. I handed the phone to S.

I cried in the Toys R Us store in the Fisher Price aisle while hubby spoke to them on the phone. We had to put him to sleep.

In a short 24 hours he went from okay to pain. I just couldn’t justify bringing him home.

So we drove back to the Vet, and Luke passed on yesterday morning in my arms. My Vet, bless her heart knew we just lost Teddi, and she cried administering the last injection.

The rest of the day we shopped. We went to Target. Bed Bath & Beyond, Sam’s……..Anything to avoid going home to silence.

I find it hard to accept the loss of Luke, and Teddi all within a month’s time. I am angry at the world that I have to explain YET AGAIN to my son that we lost our third pet in a year’s time (If you are a long-time reader, you might remember Gilbert died last year after only three weeks with us).

I am disappointed that loss has become commonplace in my family. I am angry that I have tried to keep hope and faith on my mind, and all the while just more bad news is served to us.

When will the heavens decide that our suffering should end?

I was so upset yesterday I went to see my Mom. She is already worried about me, that I know- especially recently. She made a comment that our loss could be purposeful. “To make room for the love yet to come…”

Mom, I hope you are right.

Luke, my constant companion: you will always live in my heart. Take care of Teddi, and Gilbert, and my four babies. I wish you endless naps, and pork fried rice in heaven.

I will miss you Meisty. Rest in Peace.

5 thoughts on “Another soul in heaven

  1. Shelli, I’m so sorry! When it rains, it pours, huh? Again, I’m so sorry… especially for your little guy… I hope he’s doing OK with all of this.I have good feelings about 2008.Hang in there… hugs…Jen

  2. i am soooo sorry. you are going thru so much. hang in there! pets are kind of like kids, but with fur. they are truely a part of our families. i believe too, that we will see our animals again. i believe we will see them in heaven. stay strong. heres a huuuuugggg for you!

  3. Its going to be hard for awhile for you and your family but always keep them in your heart and nerver forget the great moments they gave you while they were with you, that shoudl help you get through this and don't worry or feel angry maybe it was meant to be for these liitle guys to go so they could watch over you babies and why not play them all the time and also watch over David from where they are now.Hang in there it won't go fast or tomorrow but over time you'll feel better, don't forget we are here to listen to you and help you if need it. =0)

  4. Our son still talks about our lost pets that have been gone a year, but he does it in a healthy way by stating he misses them. I use that time to tell stories about them and he enjoys that as he was so young during most of them. It can choke me up talking about them, but I’m glad to keep those memories for him until he can create new ones.I’m so very sorry for this recent loss.

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