The medicine cabinet tells all


I did something last night that I have not done in a few years.

I cleaned out my medicine cabinet.

Not that I didn’t have the time to before (well, that is true in most cases) but I think the breaking point was our medicines and therapeutic items were scattered too far beyond the bathroom …

I couldn’t find an aspirin, or my cough medicine for my sore throat Monday night at 1:30am.

I was finding Flintstone vitamins in a junk drawer, Pepto Bismol in my makeup bag, Advil in my spice rack, and Neosporin in my sock drawer. I can’t blame everything leaving its appropriate place on my toddler son, most of the time stuff walks away because I am too lazy to put it back.

Sue me.

K, let me first say that I was N-E-V-E-R one of those people who ever snooped in someone else’s medicine cabinet. What a dumb idea, I mean, who does that??? I have no desire to see that my parent’s have hemorrhoid cream, or worse. I found enough weird crap when I was living at home as a kid, some things that would scare the bejeeezus out of a teenager!

Yeah, so not kidding.

So, before I started hauling items in the trash bag, I looked at my medicine cabinet as a whole. What does its contents say about me? If someone was snooping in my stuff, would they laugh, cry, throw-up, deem me mentally ill??

Here is what I found:
One latex rubble glove
An empty box of Superman Band-Aids
An (almost empty) box of Dora The Explorer Band-Aids
Expired mini tube of toothpaste
Pericolace, expired 7/2004 (yeah, that was from when I was pregnant with David
Advil, expired 11/2005
Oxycontin (NO, I am not addicted to Class II drugs, I was legally prescribed this after my C-section) 11 pills left in the bottle which expired 5/2004
A magnifying glass (don’t ask
paint swatches for the bathroom color
random cough drops, some of which may have been there for a looooong time
Hydrogen peroxide
First aid tape
a barette
Kid’s Tylenol
4 rubber bands
about 8 kinds of decongestants (only one not expired
a toothpick

What does this say about me? I give you my interpretation:
1. Hubby and I have too many allergies
2. I am not a drug dealer, otherwise I could have sold the Oxycontin
3. My son uses a lot of band-aids
4. Perhaps I like to dabble in CSI Investigation (hence the magnifying glass and rubber glove).
5. I need to clean out expired items more often.

Pretty much 80% of the contents went into the trash or flushed down the toilet. After I gathered the other items from around the house that rightfully belong in the medicine cabinet, I checked the expiration dates (I swear I did), put everything back and breathed a sigh of relief.

So, if you want to snoop in my medicine cabinet, come on by.

I’m ready.

One thought on “The medicine cabinet tells all

  1. I, too, need to go through our medicine cabinets. Fortunately, we don’t have to go in there too often, but when we do, things are usually expired! Hope you’re all feeling better!

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