Well, many of you who know me IRL or online know I’ve been trying to have another baby. After a cycle full of promise, another BFN (Big Fat Negative… for those of you not one of my buds from the “Ovu community“). Armed with a box full of HPT’s and a break from the pc, I tested and was highly annoyed to see just the test line staring back at me. Another failed cycle.

I could cry, and I did. Normally, I am a very contained person, but the need I have right now to shout at the sky is outweighing my usual mode of keeping positive and calm.

Next week marks one year since S. and I decided to try to add to our family of three. Nothing to show but a miscarriage in the Spring. And an awful one at that… I was just entering my second trimester, thinking all was well and right with the world, then BAM! taken away…. just like that.

I was upset, but I moved on with hope that lightening only strikes once.

And that might be true, but I’ll never know unless I get pregnant again.

The last hour, I’ve just been sitting at my desk, like a blubbering idiot. Too emotional, in fact, to be able to type this and make any sense….

sooooo….I’ll leave the over-analyzing for later, when I have the time and want to jot down here in my blog. For now, I just wanted to write this down for my friends checking in on me who knew I was testing today.

Yeah, it’s bad news, and it flippin’ sucks. Not much more to say on that.