I love him to death, but this little man of mine LOVES to push my buttons. S. and I have been battling with David on the potty front, but lately he has started to defy us every chance he gets. We can handle the fact that “no!” is sometimes a foreign word to him. We understand that the main objective for a toddler is to push, push, PUSH… as far as he can, just waiting to test our parental foritude. My goal lately has been sort of a mantra to myself…
“don’t back down… don’t back down…. I am the parent… I am in charge“
But this little bugger finds amusement and now pushes me for sport. He laughs sometimes, and boy does that get me going. Somehow, I find the ability to keep myself on an even keel. It’s harder for Steve, and now I see why… they are so alike it’s not funny.
After the 6th trip to the naughty chair last night (David sits there, not crying or anything), I end up thinking all night about what I am doing wrong. Are we too hard on him, not enough?? Will he grow up and blame me for not having raised him well?
This morning, I found myself having a conversation with David while driving him to preschool today. It takes 20 minutes door to door to get there, and the whole 20 minutes I lectured. When I asked him a question, he sounded like he was following, but who knows. Highlights went like this…
“David, Mommy gets so upset sometimes when you don’t listen… Do you understand that I am always trying to be the best Mommy, but you test me beyond boundaries… I need for you to be a good boy, and not make me lose my mind because I told you to pick up your toys ten times… why did you need to pick up the doggie’s poop in the yard when I specifically said NO… Mommy needs to not work , maybe that is the issue… maybe I need to drop out of the corporate world and work at Target as a checker, they get a discount, don’t they???” etc. etc., so forth and so on
I knew he wouldn’t understand or even remember what I was talking about, but it felt good just to say it.
As we were walking in the door at school, he looked concerned and said, “Mommy, I love yoooooou… are you ok?”
[insert crazed laughter here]
Maybe he does get it. Score one for the little guy for diffusing my ramblings. Score two for being cute.
One thought on “I am in charge, sure I am!”
They’ll always find a way to win. I’ve decided that some things I really need to stick to my guns on, and others I can relax a touch — but I have to be sure that I stay consistent. If Rei asks something and I say, “No” I don’t back down, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal in retrospect. Likewise with saying “Yes” to something. It means I sometimes take longer answering her requests, but at least I know (and more importantly SHE KNOWS) that I mean what I say.Sorry David is pushing your buttons. Consider it a badge of honor — after all, it means he knows you well enough to have figured out what your buttons are!